#1 Son threw me for a loop on Monday.

He said he had something important — but not bad — that he needed to discuss with me, and he asked that I hear him out without comment so he could explain his thinking.

I listened quietly while he explained that he had a chance to sub-let a room for the summer in a house rented by older friends. His band would be able to practice there and so wouldn’t have to rent practice space. His budget was calculated and he showed me that, provided he could get enough hours at work he believe he could cover his living expenses without resorting to coming to my house every night to eat and do laundry. It would only be for the summer because he wants to live at home when he starts college in the fall. He’s not interested in partying or running wild. He just wants to try a taste of being on his own and this seemed like an appropriate first step.

After swallowing the lump in my throat and ignoring the churning of my stomach and the shaking of my hands, I needed more information. After giving him the 3rd degree about the living arrangements and requesting an expanded budget showing how he would fund his room rental (coupled with food, utilities, etc.) and the two week tour his band is planning, I told him I’d sleep on it.

In the end, the deciding factor was my own living away from home the summer after graduating from high school. It didn’t kill me. I didn’t get into trouble. It was a nice taste of the adult world. And the offspring need to fledge and leave the nest. He had obviously thought this through carefully (although I think he under estimated a few of his budget items).

I wasn’t expecting it quite yet, but I guess it’s time to let him give it a whirl, while he can still do it close to home.

How would you have made this choice? What would you have done?