Saturday night #1 Son, E (#1 Son’s girlfriend) and I caught the last showing of Revenge Of The Sith at Tigard Cinema.

I’d like to go on record as stating that I’ve been a fan since my friend C and I stood in line at the Westgate Theater for the opening show on the opening day of Star Wars (for all you kiddies, that’s the title A New Hope was originally released with and watched a helicopter disgorge actors dressed as Princess Leia, Chewbacca and Darth Vader who wandered the theater searching for a seat.

I’ve watched A New Hope, The Empire Strikes Back and Return Of The Jedi countless times. I’ve seen The Phantom Menace twice. I’ve seen Attack Of The Clones once. I don’t have much desire to see either again.

Revenge Of The Sith is being touted as “the best Star Wars movie since The Empire Strikes Back.” Is it? Well, it’s the best of the last three movies (i.e. episodes I, II and III). But is that really saying anything?

None of the last three movies offer a swaggering swashbuckler a la Han Solo — or really even characters we care much about. The Phantom Menace, for example, foisted Jar Jar Binks on an unsuspecting world when it instead could have developed the other characters.

The acting in Revenge is probably the worst of all of the Star Wars franchise, with wooden delivery and the characters spending too much time whining at one another. The special effects were mostly OK if a bit cheesy and Yoda, as always, kicks ass. But there was one point were the oh-so-scary effects elicited nothing but giggles from the audience. And special effects alone, even good ones, cannot sustain the length of this movie. The film should have been cut by at least 30 minutes and could have been improved by a few plot twists. I suggest perhaps dropping Jar Jar Binx into a pool of lava.

George Lucas claims that during the pre-release marketing showings grown adults were weeping. I felt bad only because of the amount I had to pay for tickets/snacks to get in. The audience was a mix of all ages, from toddler on up. The theater was 1/2 empty — a bad omen for the showing, but a good thing as it allowed us to sit far away from from obnoxious and inebriated boys who had been behind us in line.

I, for one, do not believe the movie earned its PG-13 rating. No child at my viewing was too scared to remain in the theater. The violence is mostly bloodless and more reminiscent of video games. While waiting for the movie to plod its way to the inevitable end, I amused myself by determining what the levels will be in Revenge Of The Sith The Video Game and exactly who you’d have to kill to advance.

In the end, I felt decidedly lukewarm (pun intended) and doubt that I will pay to see this one again.

Mom’s take on Revenge Of The Sith: (OK… two because it is Star Wars after all. But wait to see it on cable.)