Via text, rather late at night:

#1 Son: Hey momma are you awake?

Mom: Yeah. Wazzup?

#1 Son: I got this piece of paper I was using as an earplug stuck in my ear cos I’m at a show. Should I go to the clinic in the morning? It’s seriously stuck up there.

Mom: Yes if you can’t get it out carefully with tweezers or such because you don’t want to damage your eardrum. Be very careful not to poke it in deeper.

#1 Son: I think I already did.

Via phone, shortly after the above:

Mom: Is your ear bleeding? Does it hurt a whole bunch?

#1 Son: No. No bleeding and it doesn’t really hurt.

Mom: I think it’s safe to wait until morning. Until then just leave it alone and don’t mess with it. If it starts bleeding go to the emergency room. Dare I ask why you weren’t using regular earplugs?

#1 Son: I usually use toilet paper but there wasn’t really any so I just used a wad of paper.

Mom: Go to the clinic in the morning. Then get some ear plugs.

Gentle reader, I tell you, I am reminded of the time when #1 Son was about 3 years old and he stuffed an entire, 2-ply Kleenex up his nose until the only way you could tell it was there was by peering up his nostril. He was very proud of himself, and the doctor was quite impressed. Upon extraction, it proved to be a pretty big wad. I really thought those days were long behind me.

I am happy to report that the folks at the clinic, according to #1 Son, appeared to be vastly amused.

Me? Not so much.