People have different responses to the end of a relationship. Steven Coleman’s is very different.

Steven Coleman is certainly upset with his ex girfriend. Not knowing the circumstances surrounding their break-up, it’s hard to know exactly why he is so unhappy with her. But the strength of his emotion is evident.

Apparently motivated by a desire to share his unhappiness with his ex, Coleman threw two Molotov cocktails at her Dover, NH, apartment building last Saturday night. The home-made bombs — made from gasoline-filled Budweiser bottles plugged with rags — did little damage, since it appears he forgot to light the fuses. But one of them did break, sending fumes into nearby apartments and causing two residents to seek treatment for breathing problems.

Concerned with making a clean getaway after the attempted bombing, Coleman jumped on what I assume was the closest available transport: A lawnmower. Dover police were contacted and began a brief slow-speed chase.

Quoth Dover prosecutor George Wattendorf:

[At one point during the chase, Coleman] turned around and looked directly at [a police cruiser]. Coleman appeared calm as he was smoking a cigarette.

Perhaps he meant to use the cigarette to light the Molotov cocktails, but that little detail escaped him?

Capture by police was a slightly larger detail that Coleman did not escape. The police officers finally got out of their car and walked towards him. Coleman turned himself in, claiming that he had just come from a convenience store. He was arraigned Monday on charges of criminal trespass, attempted arson, and resisting arrest. He could get up to 31 years if convicted on all charges.

Think of the marketing possibilities for Budweiser and the makers of the mower:

– This Bud’s for you… and your ex.
– Budweiser, the King of Molotov.

What ad campaigns can you think of?

I am feeling unseasonably snarky today.

Don’t get in my way, because I’m kickin’ ass and taking names.

It’s a good thing I’m getting my hair done this afternoon. That always has a calming influence.

And, yes, I am extremely happy in this economic climate that I not only have a job, but I have a job that pays me what by any standards is a decent wage. Yes, I’m happy about that.

[ed. 12:38 PM PT] At least nobody is stabbing me here.

[ed. 1:34 PM PT] I’ve had TWO (count ‘em 2) pooh-bahs come and ask me about the latest. Damn… I am kicking butt and taking names. Things are looking a little brighter over in my world…

[ed. 5:28 PM PT] And my hair looks great, too!

I’m going to attempt to make Weird Wednesday a regular or semi-regular feature, beginning today with this news from the cell-phone world.

What do you do with those millions of cell phones and cell phone covers that are thrown out each year in favor of new models? Some, of course, find a home with agencies that accept old cell phones and either recycle or refurbish them. But a lot of phones and covers are simply thrown out and find their way into landfills or other dumps.

But what if you could plant your phone in your garden, and have a flower sprout?

British researchers at the University of Warwick in central England have designed a biodegradable phone cover that breaks down in soil and grows a flower from an embedded seed.

Quoth Kerry Kirwan of the University of Warwick:

It’s a real novelty in the phone industry and consumers are happy because they feel they are doing something for the local environment. We put sunflower seeds into the prototype covers, but we are working with horticultural researchers to identify which other flowers would perform best. Maybe we could put poppies or roses next time.

The designers are quick to reassure users that the seed will not sprout until the cover is discarded. (Imagine the conversations that might result otherwise… I’m sorry, I need to hang up now. What the HELL is that thing poking my ear.)

The covers are expected to hit the market next year, for an unspecified cost.

While it doesn’t address the issue of what to do with the phone innards, I think it’s kinda cool. And just imagine the snob appeal of having, say, a Venus’ Flytrap or Bird Of Paradise phone cover versus pansy or daisy or gladiolus. I can’t wait to see the ads for this one!

Phil Knight is stepping down as CEO of Nike. He will remain Chairman Of The Board.

Stepping into Knight’s shoes as CEO and President is William Perez, currently President and CEO of S.C. Johnson & Sons, Inc., purveyors of Windex and Scrubbing Bubbles.

The shoes will be clean?

A deer found it’s way into a terminal at Chicago’s O’Hare International.

Meanwhile, down in Texas, John Underwood, an estimator for a San Antonio auto body shop, has created a web site called www.liveshot.com. When I visited, the front page only had a message saying “coming soon.” Reportedly, Underwood offers the chance to do a little target shooting with a web-controlled .22 caliber rifle.

Underwood has invested some $10,000 in his infrastructure. His plans include a speedier web connection that would allow “hunters” to aim and shoot at live animals, including deer, antelope and wild pigs. An attendant would retrieve any animals killed by a hunter, who could opt to have the head preserved by a taxidermist. The meat could be processed and shipped to them or donated to an animal orphanage.

Mike Berger, Texas Parks and Wildlife Department wildlife director said:

This is the first one I’ve seen. The current state statutes don’t cover this sort of thing.

Berger says that the current law only covers “regulated” animals, and cannot stop Underwood from offering Internet hunts of “unregulated” animals, such as non-native deer and wild pigs. He has proposed a new rule, up for public discussion in January, that anyone hunting animals covered by state law must be physically in Texas when they do so.

Underwood believes that his idea could be popular with disabled hunters, or with hunters from out-of-state who can’t afford a trip to Texas. No report on how much he plans on charging.

And the deer in O’Hare? Apparently it entered through an automatic freight door that led to the unsecured lower area of one of the terminals. O’Hare is located by forested areas. The deer may have been injured elsewhere on the grounds and seeking shelter. Animal control officers were able to sedate the animal in an area where there were no passengers. He was taken away to be examined.

But… is that what really happened? Was the deer seeking shelter, or did John Underwood promise hin a “great job with great benefits” if he would relocate?”

I just hope the buck wasn’t planning to catch a flight to Texas.