When I rolled my Noro Kochoran into center-pull balls, I started a new ball whenever I ran into a knot. So imagine my surprise last night as I knit along on my sweater and suddenly found a loose end in one of the balls.

Then I noticed that there was a matching end trailing out from my knitting tote. And both the tote end and the sweater end were… wet?

Then I saw a little furry white and brown tabby face peering out from under my chair.

Moo Cow, you see, has a string fetish. She will go to great lengths to gobble up any string left around the house. My “free kitten” has already cost me $500 in emergency vet bills after she snacked on the drawstring to #1 Son’s PJs. Since we don’t want a repeat performance, we are very careful about anything long and thin that’s not meant to be eaten. Presents in my house have no ribbons. Hoodies with drawstrings are hung up in a closed closet. Ditto my yarn stash. My UFOs are up high on a bookshelf where Moo can’t get and are in tote bags.

When knitting socks I’ve kept the yarn next to me in my chair. Moo hasn’t shown much interest in my sock knitting, even when she’s jumped up on my lap to demand hugs when I was in mid-knit. I was lulled into a false sense of safety. She was just biding her time…

Sweaters are bigger than socks, and my sweater project is in a bigger tote that doesn’t fit well next to me on the chair. Last night I had the tote resting down on the floor. And apparently the yarn was just slack enough for Moo to hook it from under the chair. I’ll keep an eye on her for a few days to make sure she’s OK, but from the length of the remaining yarn ends it appears she didn’t do more than slice through the strand. Now I’ll need to try new arrangements to keep my yarn safe. Once she finds some string, Moo is as single minded as a bloodhound on a fresh scent. And since she knows with all certainty that the entire world is present only to do her bidding, keeping what she wants away from her can be a challenge.

Today at lunch I ran over to Button Emporium and found some great buttons for my sweater. I’ll try to get some pics up this weekend, if I have time amidst the graduation madness.

While I was in the neighborhood I stopped in at Knit Purl and augmented my stash of Blue Moon soft rock. I’ve got this sock idea rattling around in my brain…

#1 Son and I go to Las Vegas for Christmas. I know that seems weird to some people. Las Vegas isn’t really the most “Christmassy” place on earth. But it’s become something of a tradition with us to get out of town during the holiday madness, and so we travel. To Vegas. Each year I make our reservation in a different hotel. This year it was The Aladdin. And each year we go on some sort of tour. This year it was to be a ghost town and gold mine. But, to begin at the beginning:

Part One: The Airport

#1 Son and I travel light and never check bags, so I usually check in and print our boarding passes over the ‘net the night before. That way we can go directly to our gate without any stops along the way. I printed #1 Son’s pass, but there was some glitch (or so I thought) that prevented me from printing mine. I kept getting a message that said: Print it at the airport.

We usually park in the economy lot and take the shuttle in. But, after dropping the fur kids off at the Cat B & B, we arrived at the airport to find the economy lot full — so full that barriers were up preventing us from even entering. Signs suggested parking in long term. But long term was full. Signs on the long term lot suggested parking in the garage. At $18/day. So far we’re doing great. NOT

Inside the airport I stopped to print my boarding pass, and then we headed for security. Since the Great Bullet Belt Debacle I was a little more cognizant of what items we were attempting to carry on board a plane. The bullet belt was left at home, as were all scissors. I had checked to make sure that knitting needles were allowed before I brought my half-made socks along. (One is now completed and the other 1/2 finished — pics when done.) What I hadn’t counted on was being singled out myself for a little extra attention.

In the security line, #1 Son was sent down the normal path, but I was shuffled off to the side, where the “special” people get to go. There my purse, bag, shoes and sweater were thoroughly examined, searched and otherwise pawed through. And a fairly rude woman patted me down, front and back, and used a metal-detector wand. I was required to unbuckle my belt, and since the pant I was wearing are rather loose, this had the unfortunate result of revealing my lovely undies to everyone in the terminal. You’re losing your pants. The TSA woman said helpfully, while the TSA man chuckled appreciatively and continued pawing through the undies in my bag.

When I was finally deemed harmless and allowed to depart the security area, I found #1 Son just putting his shoes back on. He had also been subjected to wanding because he’d forgotten to bring the key to the lock that fastens the chain around his neck, and so set off the metal detector. He had not only been wanded, but also patted down. I was neither notified nor asked permission. He wasn’t even asked if he was a minor.

Yes, I’ve complained to TSA, although I waited until I got home.

At the gate, #1 Son pointed out helpfully to me that since he had a bic lighter and a can of hairspray, he possessed what amounted to a flame thrower. I suggested that we not discuss that with any airline or TSA people.

On boarding the plane, when I presented my boarding pass the airlines employee said, Here’s the red boarding pass. You must be the dangerous woman on this flight. I made some noncommittal sound, and he replied by reading my name slowly and loudly enough for everyone at the gate to hear, thus subjecting me to further humiliation. #1 Son’s flame thrower became tempting…

Yes, I’ve complained to the airline, although I waited until I got home. (No sense in jinxing the return trip.)

Part 2: The Aladdin

So this particular vacation got off to a great start. But the flight down to Vegas was at least uneventful, and I finished the first sock while in the air. At The Aladdin, the check-in line was short. Our room was on the 17th floor near the elevators, and if we squeezed behind our table and craned our necks a little we had a reasonably good view of the Bellagio fountains. The bathroom featured a tiled shower with a glass door and a large soaking tub, but only one sink.

Every room in The Aladdin is equipped with a monitor, keyboard and mouse and has internet access via the hotel’s network for $9.95/24 hours. Yes, it’s more than most dial-up providers charge per month, but at least the access is available and “day” really is defined as 24 hours so there’s no extra charge for partial days. Our mouse didn’t work so I made sure that everything was plugged in correctly and rebooted the in-room part of the system. When that turned out to be ineffectual, I called the number provided (it turns out that the provider is Sprint). Since it was Sunday, no technicians were available but I was told that a “trouble ticket” would be issued and someone should be by in the morning.

The Aladdin has thoughtfully provided a PF Chang’s on the casino level. Since that happens to be one of my favorite restaurants, and one where vegetarian dishes are no problem, our dinner plans were easy to make. Although we had to wait for quite awhile to be seated, PF Chang’s was well worth the wait. I’m addicted to the lettuce wraps. Mom’s take on PF Chang’s:

For entertainment Sunday night, we looked no further than The Aladdin itself. Steve Wyrick is the featured act at the hotel. Billed as “Vegas’ Magician Of The Year,” Wyrick’s show promises bad motorcycles, hot girls, killer music and mind-blowing, bigger-than-life illusions. Unfortunately, it doesn’t quite deliver. The motorcyle (1) is there, and the girls, but the music is hardly “killer.” The illusions may be big, but they aren’t particularly mind-blowing. (Raise up curtain, roll airplane on stage. Yawn.) The smaller illusions are better. But his patter is annoying at best and his “teasing” of a woman who spoke absolutely no English and so didn’t understand the joke fell completely flat. Wyrick just doesn’t have the panache to pull off illusions of the size his act contains. After the show, the theater exit leads through the magic shop, where one is encouraged to buy everything in sight. VIP ticket holders can have their free magic books autographed by Wyrick. Non-VIP-ticket holders can get an autograph, but they have to pay for the book. We passed, and left wondering who votes for “Magician Of The Year.” If you’re in Vegas and want to see a magician, take in David Copperfield at the MGM Grand, or head over to Monte Carlo for Lance Burton. Mom’s take on Steve Wyrick:

More tomorrow, including Chucky meets Fargo at The Flamingo and the hazards of sudden downpours in the desert.

New York City officials were a bit embarassed to find out that ads for a clothing line that have been appearing on New York buses since September promise reading can be rewarded in unexpected ways.

The ads show a suggestively posed and scantily clad woman kneeling among a pile of books with the snappy slogan, “Read Books, Get Brain.”

Officials were apparently unaware that “get brain” is slang for oral sex.

After being tipped to the phrases double meaning, Metropolitan Transit Authority spokesman Tom Kelly ran a little test of his own:

I went downstairs to the mailroom and showed some of the young guys a copy of the ad. I was watching their faces and they all start smirking.

Apparently it’s on all the music, in music that’s how they refer to it. I didn’t know anything about it and I’m sure the people that approved the ad didn’t.

To me and I believe to everyone else, while it was done by a clothing line, it would give the impression that it was also promoting reading and literacy.

The ads, from Akademiks, which intended the double-entendre, also run on buses and bus shelters in Miami, Chicago, Los Angeles, Detroit, San Francisco and Philadelphia. But the ads are no longer running in New York — they were stripped off buses on Friday. 😆

Wal-Mart is refusing to sell George Carlin’s new book “When Does Jesus Bring The Porkchops” in its stores, insisting that it would not appeal to a majority of its customers. Wal-Mart objects to the cover of the book, which depicts a parody of da Vinci’s The Last Supper with George Carlin, taking the place of one of the apostles, sitting next to an empty chair where the figure of Jesus is depicted in the original painting.

This comes only a few days after Wal-Mart banned Jon Stewart’s new book America (The Book) because it contained a faked nude photo of the members of the Supreme Court. Although the book includes cut-outs of judicial robes so that the reader can “restore their dignity,” Wal-Mart cancelled its order.

Wal-Mart will continue to sell both books through their web site. Wal-Mart spokeswoman Karen Burk insists that people who buy products from Wal-Mart online are a “different audience.”

Personally, I think Wal-Mart needs to find a sense of humor. Why in hell did America find a collective need to become so serious? Has political correctness completely destroyed our ability to laugh at ourselves?

Carlin spokesman Jeff Abraham said

They did not like the cover [of the Carlin book] because it was a parody. George attacks everything in this book, but it does not have any nude photos. He said he thought the title would offend everyone.

Good call, George! 😆

During the 2002-2003 school year, there were 16 school-associated violent deaths of students in the United States. This included 3 shootings, 6 suicides, 2 murder-suicides, 4 stabbings and 1 “other.” Granted that this is 16 too many, it still translates into less than one violent death per 1,000,000 students enrolled, or 0.0001%. Kids ages 5 to 19 are at least 70 times more likely to be murdered away from school than in school. I’m not trying to discount these deaths. If it were my kid I’d be devastated, and my heart goes out to the families and friends of those that died. But the fact remains that I probably have a better chance of winning the lottery than of having my kid die from violent crime at school.

Hudson, Mass., population 18,000 or so, is a quiet, predominantly white, relatively affluent community about 30 miles from Boston. Hudson bills itself as an, “unpretentious community with a strong sense of tradition, a tolerance for differences and a willingness to embrace change.” There are about 3025 students enrolled in Hudson’s 6 public and 3 private schools. The city-data.com crime index for this period is low — 66.9 vs. the US average of 330.6. In 2002, there were 255 total reported crimes in Hudson, of which 3 were assaults. There were no murders in Hudson, in school or out, in 2002. Zero. Nil. Goose egg. Nor were there any in 2001.

What does the second paragraph have to do with the first? This from an AP news article on Yahoo:

Election Booths in Schools Draw Concern

Tue Sep 28,10:23 AM ET Elections – AP

HUDSON, Mass. – Dozens of parents have signed a petition asking town officials to remove election booths from schools out of concern for terrorism.

Say what?!? Parents in Hudson are that afraid that terrorists are going to strike the small schools in their sleepy little town? Why?

Sally Morgan cited the potential for terrorists to try to disrupt the Nov. 2 presidential election, as well as the school hostage crisis in Russia earlier this month in a petition sent to the town’s Board of Selectmen.

Ah! I get it! Half a world away in the midst of a brutal, decade-long revolution, a school hostage crisis ended in a bloody battle between Chechen freedom fighters and Russian commandos. That’s sure to be repeated in Hudson! And because Dubya wants us to be afraid, in the vain hope that fright will (1)encourage us to vote for him and (2) keep the focus away from the real issues.

Somehow I think that Sally’s logic may be a little flawed. But Sally isn’t alone:

The petition, signed by 125 parents, asks town officials to move polling places to more secure locations such as the town library, fire stations and churches.

Is a church or library really more secure than a school? That makes me wonder a bit about Hudson’s priorities. Let’s keep our books and altars secure. Damn the kids! ???

Selectman Joseph J. Durant argued that pulling the election booths would rob students of an opportunity to see how democracy works. He also denied a threat to children exists.

“I think when fear and insecurity is introduced into Americans’ everyday lives in something as simple and fundamental as this, it is a sad state of affairs,” he said.

I have to agree with Durant on this. We should not be living in fear. We should not be teaching our children to live in fear. There isn’t a bogeyman behind every bush. There isn’t a terrorist stalking every school. Chances are very small that we will be blown up at our polling places as we vote. Chances are vanishingly small that doing so would interrupt the election enough to change the outcome. The citizens of Hudson are pretty darn safe.

Morgan has also taken her concerns to the town’s School Committee, which has reviewed voting day security at the schools.

Maybe that will calm Sally down a bit. If not, I have a lottery ticket to sell her.

The Americal Library Association’s Banned Book Week starts on 09/25. This week emphasizes the freedom to choose or the freedom to express one’s opinion even if that opinion might be considered unorthodox or unpopular and the importance of ensuring the availability of those unorthodox or unpopular viewpoints to all who wish to read them.

Celebrate your freedom to read by reading a book from the Independent Booksellers Book Sense Picks of 10 recommended banned books for 2004, the Top 10 Most Frequently Challenged Books of 2003, or the Top 100 Challenged Books of 1990-1999.

I’m happy to note that I’ve read 5 of the 10 Book Sense Picks, 5 of the Top 10 of 2003 and a goodly number of the Top 100. Now I just have to read my way through the rest!

In honor of Banned Book Week, I’m having the Listen/Read/Watch section rotate through the Book Sense Picks and the Top 10 of 2003.