A man was stuck inside a chimney in North Portland this morning, apparently attempting to burgle a house.

The man had managed to get approximately 10 or 15 feet down in the chimney before becoming stuck. Extracting him took more than an hour and required tearing down the chimney and removing sections of the roof.

Since he was not the homeowner, and I guess could not prove he was Santa on a test run, the man was assumed to be a burglar and was arrested when he emerged.

Well… the election is over, mostly. And there were no terrorist attacks. And as far as I know, no perverts took the opportunity to grab a grade school kid or two. Not even in Hudson, Mass. (Are you still googling your name, Sally Morgan?)

I’ll leave the link to the electoral college predictor up for a bit, in case anyone is interested in the data.

I was hoping to take the Persistent Illusion Magical Lucky Charms Level down today. But it appears will have to suffer with such insanity for another four years.

Be afraid… be very afraid.

Today at the Taipei zoo a man leaped into the lion’s den in an apparent attempt to convert the King of Beasts to Christianity.

“Jesus will save you!” the 46-year-old man shouted at two African lions lounging under a tree a few meters away.

“Come bite me!” he said with both hands raised, television footage showed.

Not surprisingly, one of the lion’s obliged. Fortunately the lion was well fed, or the result might have been worse. But zoo workers were able to drive the lion off with water hoses.

Now, it runs in my mind that this is a pretty damn good analogy to the current election results, such as they stand.

If Bush is elected (and that now seems fairly likely, although not certain), it appears that much of his vote came from grass-roots campaigning among voters who consider themselves born-again Christians.

Although currently apparently dozing, The Republic is a very large lion and it grows hungrier. Be very careful, you in the right-wing who are programming your trained chimp to spout your religion-based messages. Attempting a conversion to a theocracy will get you bitten. And I’m fairly certain that no one is standing by with a water hose.

It’s just after 6:00 am here in Oregon. So far we’ve had a large number of ballots returned across the state. It appears that close to a record number of voters will turn in a ballot in thie vote-by-mail-only state.

Although I thought it was not OK to show political ads on election day, I just saw one for Bush.

The electoral college counter over on the right-hand side, hosted by Andrew Tanenbaum, a US citizen living and working in The Netherlands, is predicting Kerry over Bush, 298 to 231. His predicted final map shows Kerry 306-218.

I only hope that whoever wins — and I do hope that’s Kerry — wins by enough of a margin that all of the lawsuits and recounts in the world are not going to change the results. We need a President who’s won with a clear mandate.

Remember, if you live in Oregon and you haven’t voted yet, it’s way too late to mail your ballot! You can drop it off at your county election headquarters or a myriad of other drop-off boxes. Click the link or call 1-866-ORE-VOTES for drop-off information.

If you live in another state, please go to your regular polling place and vote. Every vote counts!

Your vote must be made by 8:00 PM on Tuesday. Every vote counts!

Remember, voting is your license to bitch later when the idjits in Congress do stupid things! If you don’t vote, then you don’t get to complain.

Ezra Klein has published a wonderfully articulate explanation over on Pandagon of his case for John Kerry. I am especially taken with his description of the differences between Kerry and Bush. Of Bush he says:

I forgive Bush his failings, I forgive him his mistakes, I forgive him his transgressions and his lies and his misjudgments and miscalculations and messes. What I don’t forgive — what I will never forgive — is that he ran for president in the first place. And the reason, dear reader, that I can never forgive him for that, is because he fought to ascend to an office he didn’t understand.

And of Kerry:

Righteousness, as a habit, rejects certainty; in fact, the angels have a troubling predisposition to wander around issues, which makes sticking in their camp a matter of ideological flexibility as much as judgment. There’s no chasm greater than the one Kerry bridged to go from Vietnam war hero to the war’s most prominent opponent, but he was right to serve his country and right to fight for an end to the misguided slaughter. It’s a lesson he’s refused to unlearn, and one he’s spent a lifetime applying. And we need it.

Although lengthy, the whole entry is well worth the read.